Monday, November 18, 2019
Ten phrases smart people never say
Ten phrases smart people never say Ten phrases smart people never say There are some things you simply never want to say at work.These phrases carry special power: They have an uncanny ability to make you look bad even when the words are true. Worst of all, thereâs no taking them back once they slip out.Looking for an inspiring way to start your day? Sign up for Morning Motivation!Itâs our friendly Facebook robot that will send you a quick note every weekday morning to help you start strong. Sign up here by clicking Get Started!Iâm not talking about shocking slips of the tongue, off-color jokes, or politically incorrect faux pas. These arenât the only ways to make yourself look bad. Often itâs the subtle remarks - the ones that paint us as incompetent and unconfident - that do the most damage.No matter how talented you are or what youâve accomplished, there are certain phrases that instantly change the way people see you and can forever cast you in a negative light. These phrases are so loaded with negative implications that they under mine careers in short order.âThis is the way itâs always been doneâTechnology-fueled change is happening so fast that even a six-month-old process could be outdated. Saying this is the way itâs always been done not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but it could make your boss wonder why you havenât tried to improve things on your own. If you really are doing things the way theyâve always been done, thereâs almost certainly a better way.âItâs not my faultâItâs never a good idea to cast blame. Be accountable. If you had any role - no matter how small - in whatever went wrong, own it. If not, offer an objective, dispassionate explanation of what happened. Stick to the facts, and let your boss and colleagues draw their own conclusions about whoâs to blame. The moment you start pointing fingers is the moment people start seeing you as someone who lacks accountability for their actions. This makes people nervous. Some will avoid working with yo u altogether, and others will strike first and blame you when something goes wrong.âI canâtâI canât is itâs not my faultâs twisted sister. People donât like to hear I canât because they think it means I wonât. Saying I canât suggests that youâre not willing to do what it takes to get the job done. If you really canât do something because you truly lack the necessary skills, you need to offer an alternative solution. Instead of saying what you canât do, say what you can do. For example, instead of saying âI canât stay late tonight,â say âI can come in early tomorrow morning. Will that work?â Instead of âI canât run those numbers,â say âI donât yet know how to run that type of analysis. Is there someone who can show me so that I can do it on my own next time?ââItâs not fairâEveryone knows that life isnât fair. Saying itâs not fair suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes you look immature and naïve. If you donât want to make yourself look bad, you need to stick to the facts, stay constructive, and leave your interpretation out of it. For instance, you could say, âI noticed that you assigned Ann that big project I was hoping for. Would you mind telling me what went into that decision? Iâd like to know why you thought I wasnât a good fit, so that I can work on improving those skills.ââThatâs not in my job descriptionâThis often sarcastic phrase makes you sound as though youâre only willing to do the bare minimum required to keep getting a paycheck, which is a bad thing if you like job security. If your boss asks you to do something that you feel is inappropriate for your position (as opposed to morally or ethically inappropriate), the best move is to complete the task eagerly. Later, schedule a conversation with your boss to discuss your role in the company and whether your job description needs an update. This ensures that you avoid looking petty. I t also enables you and your boss to develop a long-term understanding of what you should and shouldnât be doing.âThis may be a silly idea/Iâm going to ask a stupid questionâThese overly passive phrases instantly erode your credibility. Even if you follow these phrases with a great idea, they suggest that you lack confidence, which makes the people youâre speaking to lose confidence in you. Donât be your own worst critic. If youâre not confident in what youâre saying, no one else will be either. And, if you really donât know something, say, âI donât have that information right now, but Iâll find out and get right back to you.ââIâll tryâJust like the word think, try sounds tentative and suggests that you lack confidence in your ability to execute the task. Take full ownership of your capabilities. If youâre asked to do something, either commit to doing it or offer an alternative, but donât say that youâll try because it sounds like you wonât t ry all that hard.Related from Ladders New study: This is the one email mistake thatâs unforgivable (donât let !t happen to you) 6 things not to say in a job interview These are the 9 most annoying phrases people use at work, according to a new survey âThis will only take a minuteâSaying that something only takes a minute undermines your skills and gives the impression that you rush through tasks. Unless youâre literally going to complete the task in 60 seconds, feel free to say that it wonât take long, but donât make it sound as though the task can be completed any sooner than it can actually be finished.âI hate this jobâThe last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person and brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.âHeâs lazy/incompetent/a jerkâThere is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so thereâs no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, youâre the one who ends up lookin g like a jerk. There will always be rude or incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you donât have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleagueâs incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your coworkersâ negative opinions of you.Bringing it all togetherThese phrases have a tendency to sneak up on you, so youâre going to have to catch yourself until youâve solidified the habit of not saying them.Travis Bradberry is the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the cofounder of TalentSmart. This article first appeared at LinkedIn.
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